dance to the end of love
by faithfullyAna
Summary: He builds a skyscraper from her broken smile on his heart's ruins. AU Finchel
1. Prologue

**Glee is not mine. This is AU and completely OOC.**

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Prologue

She didn't know how she was still standing. The room was spinning and the walls were tightening around her like in a bad horror movie. Her eyes were watering from the wild ringing in her ears. It seemed like any moment now her lungs might stop working.

Questions, she had millions of questions. And strangely enough, she had all the answers too. They always were right there on the surface.

_She was blind._

And not just in the matter of what was happening right now. God, how many coincidences, how many clues there were.

_She was blind._

She thought she knew him. She thought she was the only one who knew the real him.

Obviously she did not.

Jake tried to warn her this morning and she just laughed at him. Laughed in the mist of her own stupidness.

_You are a fool, Rachel Berry. __A damn fool._

She wanted to run. Drop everything, get a taxi and be on the other side of Manhattan as soon as possible. She wanted to go home. But she couldn't.

Her home, her small cozy apartment, that once was her safe heaven, now was soaked in him.

And she couldn't fail Marley.

She had nowhere to run.

So she did what she always does best.

She put on the mask and went on stage.

Only this time it wasn't at Puck's.

It was her life.

Rachel squared her shoulders and made the last step to the living room.

"Sorry about that. Girl problems."

Silly laugh. So not her.

This whole scene was so not her.

And only the amber eyes of her main spectator remained the same.

Like every other Thursday for the past three months.

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**Many thanks to my amazing beta **_**berryfinntastic**_**. You're a lifesaver.**

**Please review and share your thoughts with me. It would mean a lot.**

**First chapter later.**

~**Ana**


	2. Chapter 1

**Glee is not mine. This is AU and completely OOC.**

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Chapter 1.

…_Yo, I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want, so tell me what you want, what you really really want…_

She didn't want to get up. Last night she covered for Santana, so her body ached twice the usual. At the same time, the school year _(the last one, finally)_ had just started and she was only just getting used to the strict schedule again. So yes, she really did not want to get up. She could have quietly laid in bed a couple of hours more, enjoying a peaceful morning.

The windows in her small apartment in Brooklyn were wide open and the room slowly filled with autumn air, with a touch of cinnamon scent.

Rachel smiled and just listened. From below came the clatter and some voices. Mr. and Mrs. Schue had already opened the bakery, so the first pan, with the cinnamon rolls on, was in the oven.

…_I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really, really, really wanna zigazig ha…_

New York was buzzing outside. She didn't care. She almost craved it. Rachel was born and raised in Brooklyn; the city's noise was her lullaby from birth. She was sure that if she somehow ended up, say, in Ohio, then she would have had a nervous breakdown from all the silence.

Actually, she could have slept for at least another hour, if not for that stupid ringtone.

…_If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends, make it last forever, friendship never ends…_

Rachel groaned and put her head under the pillow.

…_Slam your body down and wind it all around…_

"Agrh! Okay, okay! I'm up!"

She threw off her blanket, sighed sadly and got out of bed.

"I need caffeine."

Her feet led her to the kitchen, where her iPhone was ringing on the table top.

"Hello?"

"Hey, songbird!"

"Seriously, Mar, did you see the time?"

"Actually the last time I checked, before I entered the lecture hall, it was half past nine. We have a lecture in ten minutes. Where are you?"

Rachel looked at the clock that hung over the door.

9:51. a.m.

"Damn!"

Marley quietly giggled on the other end of the phone.

"Overslept again, Berry? I'll cover for you today. But you seriously need to think about giving up the night shift at the diner."

If she only knew.

"Hey, Rachel! Wait up!"

She stopped in the crowd of students and turned around. Brody was quickly approaching her from his usual table. His smile, which Rachel once thought as charming, now reminded her of that cartoon character. However, she caught herself thinking that she was still attracted to him. No not to him per se, but maybe to her former life. Life that was before...

She shook her head, dismissing the bitter thoughts.

"Well?"

"I'm sorry, what?"

His smile was sad and almost understanding somehow.

"Senior Musical? We are staging "_The Music Man_." Kurt's making costumes, Tina and Sugar are all about props and Jesse still thinks he can beat me to the role of Professor." She grinned. Those two have always fought for the leads. "So what do you say, want to be my Marian?"

Something clenched in her chest. Her eyes darted to the side, to that table where her place once was.

Tina, Sugar and Brittany were having a lively discussion, their eyes were bright and their smiles big. She didn't hear them laughing now, but she heard it in her memory.

On the other side of the table, Mike was explaining something to Jesse, to which he nodded gravely.

Finally, her eyes were on Kurt.

He was not involved in any of the conversations. His doomed look for all this time was on the former golden couple and from his body's position, it was clear that he knew her answer in advance.

"Sorry, I can't."

She saw Brody literally put on a smile. Fake smile. Sad smile.

'It's okay. Another time?"

"Yeah, totally."

They both knew that there wouldn't be another time.

For the last time, Rachel glanced at Kurt. But he had already turned away, pretending to listen to the conversation Mike and Jesse were having.

"Good luck, Brody. To all of you guys. Really."

She turned away and hurried toward the door of the student cafeteria. Away from Brody, away from the memories, away from that long lost herself. The one who once knew how to dream.

"Rachel!" His voice echoed through the cafeteria like thunder and found her already at the door. He wanted her to hear him. For the last time. "Your place is still yours."

An empty chair between Kurt and Brittany flashed before her eyes.

It stood empty for two years.

As empty as her heart.

Rachel pushed the door open and went outside.

Marley saved her a place in the history of jazz.

"I realized that you had overslept for the first lecture. But how did you manage to miss the beginning of the second one?" She whispered, not taking her eyes from Professor Banner.

"I ran into Brody".

"Brody Weston?"

"Shhh!" Rachel shushed. They were lucky that professor Banner was like eighty and had a hearing problem. Perhaps it was good that he was teaching a theory of music.

"So what did Ken want?"

"Marley, I told you to stop calling him that!"

"Rach, seriously, the guy spends more time in front of the mirror than Kurt Hummel!"

"There is nothing wrong with wanting to look good!"

"So that's why you forgot to comb your hair today?"

Rachel frowned.

"He wanted me to try out for the role of Marian for the senior musical."

"What?! This is great! Can I come to your audition? Oh, Rachel, you'll win on the spot! The role exactly..."

"I refused."

Marley's eyes widened, she opened her mouth to give Rachel a piece of her mind, but the professor's voice interrupted her.

"Lecture is over."

Rachel grabbed her bag and slipped into the aisle, right to the exit.

"We'll talk about it later, Rachel Berry!"

She just waved her off without looking back.

"Dream on, Rosie!"

"You know, I hate that name. My…"

She didn't hear the continuation, Marley's voice stayed in the audience. And Rachel was already hurrying to the next class.

She met Marley when her dance teacher, Cassandra July, asked Rachel to help out with a summer workshop for the new freshmen. The extra money was always good, so she quickly agreed.

In a class of sixteen, she immediately noticed Marley.

That night, at the end of June, she kept thinking why. She even made a few mistakes on the stage which both angered and surprised Puck. And amused Jake.

It was Santana who pointed out the obvious similarities, which Rachel could not deny.

Big smile, bright eyes, the posture. She literally radiated with desire to be in class. Even after three hours of exhausting training and eight insults from Cassandra, Marley was still right there and ready to continue.

Marley was Rachel.

That Rachel who was ready to be "Little Miss Schwimmer" and "a Giant nose."

That Rachel who was dancing till her feet bled, but made the ideal movements.

That Rachel who in the end made Cassandra proud.

That Rachel who had a dream.

That Rachel. From the past.

She was confident that when the eight weeks of the workshop ended, she wouldn't see her anymore. After all, Rachel was a senior and Marley was just beginning her education.

Unfortunately, or rather fortunately, her hopes were dashed.

Eight weeks and Rachel was attached to the girl. Attached to the admiring glances ("You were the first freshman who took the lead role in the history of NYU!"). Attached to crazy and funny stories, which always seemed to happen around Marley. Even to non-vegan chocolate chip cookies ("I learned to cook it, because my grandmother said that it was Daddy's favorite").

It was one of the only two times they ever mentioned family.

Perhaps Marley heard about what happened to Rachel sophomore year. She said nothing.

Rachel knew very little of Marley's family too. Her parents were divorced, her mother lived in California and her father was always working. And Marley was missing them a great deal.

Rachel was angry. Angry at how easily they just threw away time with their child.

By the end of the eight weeks in Cassandra's dance room, Marley got "not so lousy" (a high praise), and Rachel got an annoying surrogate little sister. Who then persuaded her to enroll in the most boring class in the history of NYU. Professor Banner (rightly so) should be called... hell, what was the name of the ghost professor from Harry Potter?

_His favorite movie_.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" Rachel burst into the dressing room, throwing her bag on a chair in the corner. She immediately began to undress.

"Third time in a week, little Berry."

"Sorry, Puck, new school year and all."

"You're lucky you're not on the main stage today."

Rachel spun around.

"Then why did I even freaking come today, Puckerman?!"

He just rolled his eyes.

"Calm down, little Berry. You have a special order. It seems that he has been watching you for a long time."

Rachel turned pale.

"Fuck, come on, do you really think I'd send you to a stalker? Lord, little Berry."

Rachel's look was still full of skepticism.

"Do not worry your pretty little head, he won't bite. Although, you seem like you could love it," Puck winked at her, barely having time to dodge from her flying comb. Then he turned serious. "Get dressed and go to the blue room!"

When the door opened, Rachel had only one focus. For a moment, she thought of what dear, sweet Marley, who thought her best friend worked in the diner, would say now.

She didn't even look at the client.

It was only when her hot fingers touched the metal that she looked up.

And froze.

It was _him_.

Rachel had seen him several times around the club, saw him watching her. Sometimes it seemed like he was almost eating her with his eyes.

How could she not realize it was him?

Every time after a fleeting meeting with him, her body burned and yearned, and no matter how much she tried, she could never bring herself the much needed release.

It was not possible to replace him. It was not possible to forget him.

Three things happened in that one moment.

The music began.

Something flashed in his amber eyes.

Rachel wrapped her leg around the pole.

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**Please review and share your thoughts with me :)**

**~ Ana**


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